Smirnoff
06-17-2009, 07:47 AM
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
I am in the neighborhood of 50-years-old (ahem), I have a
401k that I have been contributing to for 13 or 14 years,
my wife has an IRA that she has been contributing to for
about the same amount of time. We also have a savings account
which provides us with a fund for if the engine in one of
our cars blows up for an uninsured reason or if we need a few
extra thousand for a vacation, etc.
We are currently in our second house since getting married
but thanks to an increase in property values we have about
35 percent equity in the house. We also started college
savings accounts for each of our boys when they were born,
which isn’t going to cover four years at university but
will give us a nice head start for each of them.
To listen to it you’d think we were in pretty good shape, but
apparently our toes are hanging over the edge of disaster.
Until recently David Walker was comptroller general of the
United States, meaning he was head auditor for the most
important and powerful government in the world. In an in-
terview last year Walker warned that there is a $43-trillion
hole in America’s public finances that’s getting worse every
day, and it is eventually going to lead to a financial
collapse that will make my (and your) retirement plans dis-
appear in a wave of recession, inflation and unemployment.
It’s becoming increasingly obvious that, within the next 10
years, the U.S. government will simply not be able to borrow
money fast enough to keep up with its exploding expenses.
The Economic Policy Institute recently projected that under
the current tax regime, by 2014 all government revenue would
be consumed by four areas of spending: health care for the
elderly and the poor, Social Security for retirees, national
defense and interest on the debt.
Interest on the national debt would be about half of all gov-
ernment tax revenues by 2031. And ten years later, the cost
of servicing the debt will exceed all government revenues.
History provides some harrowing examples of what happens when
an economy collapses under the weight of unsustainable debt.
One of the most chilling is Argentina in 2001. When the
International Monetary Fund cut off its support for the
country’s escalating debt, the effect was catastrophic: the
value of the national currency plunged, decimating the
savings of millions. The resulting surge in inflation and
sudden slowdown in consumer spending put thousands of
businesses into bankruptcy within weeks. That, in turn,
put further millions out of work and pushed one of South
America’s biggest economies into a punishing recession.
As unfathomable as it may seem, most economists think some-
thing like that could happen in the United States.
Doesn’t sound very cheery, does it? Imagine if the company
you work for suddenly went bankrupt and the market was so
bad that you couldn’t find a job for more than half of what
you were making (if you could find work at all). You decide
to cash in all of your savings and retirement funds to make
ends meet to discover that what used to be worth 30, 40 or
maybe 50 thousand dollars is now worth about 15 or 20. How
long do you think you would keep your house or even your
car?
It makes you want to start writing letters to congressmen,
doesn’t it?
Bizarrely,
Lewis
————————————————————
+——————– Bizarre Patrons ———————+
Apollonia - Patron Saint of toothaches.
Fiacre - Patron Saint of venereal disease and taxi drivers.
Gengulf - Patron Saint of unhappy marriages.
Vitus - Patron Saint of comedians and mental illness.
Matthew - Patron Saint of accountants.
Bernardino of Siena - Patron Saint of advertising
executives.
Luke - Patron Saint of butchers.
Marin de Porres - Patron Saint of hairdressers.
Joseph of Arimathea - Patron Saint of grave diggers and
funeral directors.
Bernard of Clairvaux - Patron Saint of beekeepers.
Sebastian - Patron Saint of neighborhood watch.
***
———— Polish woman wakes up in morgue ————–
WARSAW, Poland - An 84-year-old woman, declared dead
by a doctor in central Poland, woke up in a morgue as
morticians were preparing her for a funeral, doctors
said. Police in the central Polish town of Zwolen opened
an investigation, Polish Radio reported Monday. In the
nearby village of Jablonowo Friday, the husband called an
ambulance when his wife fainted and the emergency service
doctor declared her dead and sent her to the morgue. When
morticians saw the woman was moving, they called a doctor
who diagnosed she was sick but alive. The woman was rushed
to the Zwolen hospital where doctors said she was in a
serious condition and placed her in an intensive care
unit.
————————————————————
UNIVERSAL DIGITAL BATTERY TESTER
List Price: $29.99
DEAL PRICE: $12.99
The Universal Digital Battery Tester displays the charge
of your battery instantly on a large easy to read LCD
display. This versatile battery tester can be used to test
AA, AAA, C, D, N, 9V, CR123A, CR2, button cells (3V & 1.5V)
and digital camera batteries (2CR5, CR-P2 & CR-V3).
It safely tests alkaline, NiMH and NiCad rechargeable
batteries. Again… this works for just about ANY battery…
even the button cell types. Grab one of these very handy
Battery Testers… you’ll be glad you did.
VISIT: UNIVERSAL DIGITAL BATTERY TESTER (http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14430/c/120/a/499)
————————————————————
——— Human statue project includes ‘poo’ man ———-
LONDON - One of the “living statues” kicking off an art
exhibit in London’s Trafalgar Square is a man who made a
costume meant to resemble feces. Oliver Parsons-Baker, 26,
of Birmingham, England, said he designed a “poo costume”
for his hour on the fourth plinth of Trafalgar Square as
a means of highlighting the need for clean water, The Sun
reported. Parsons-Barker is one of 2,400 people chosen to
play “living statues” for one hour on the plinth as part
of “One and Other,” an art project designed by Antony
Gormley. The project, in which each living statue is
allotted one hour on the plinth, is scheduled to go on
for 24 hours a day for 100 days beginning July 6. Other
applicants chosen to occupy time on the plinth include a
man who plans to wear a bicycle-powered light-up suit, an
83-year-old who will spend the hour waving a flag and a
student using her hour to mark her birthday.
———– City to employees: Wear underwear ————-
BROOKSVILLE, Fla. - The City Council of Brooksville, Fla.,
has approved a citywide dress code requiring city employees
to wear underwear, deodorant and properly-fitted clothes.
The dress and appearance policy, which also requires all
tattoos and scars to be covered up during work hours, was
approved 4-1, with only Mayor Joe Bernardini voting against
the dress code due to concerns about interpretation and
enforcement of the new rules, the St. Petersburg (Fla.)
Times reported. “They said you had to wear undergarments,”
Bernardini said, “but who’s going to be the judge of that?
Sometimes when it comes to certain people going bra-less,
it’s obvious. But who’s staring to see if that person
doesn’t have underwear on?” However, officials said the
dress code is part of an overhaul of the city’s policy
toward its employees that was developed with help from
city officials, attorneys and other sources. The officials
said they want public employees to maintain the city’s
“public image.” “The policy is there if something becomes
an issue or problem,” City Manager Jennene Norman-Vacha
said. “Then we want to be able to address it. It’s just
good policy.”
————————————————————
You won’t find a more effective product…
SAVEX FOOT CARE SALVE
List Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $3.49
Get Two for $5.98
Feel the soothing sweetness of this salve working its magic
on your tired, dry or itchy feet.
Featuring skin-friendly oils like Mineral, Lanolin and more
(full list on site), this deep-penetrating foot salve will
re-hydrate severely dry skin, aid in the healing of cracks
and eliminate itching. This wonder salve even prevents foot
odor!
Unlike lotions which are high in water content which can
actually cause dryness, this salve has no water to promote
faster healing… for healthier feet. Also contains Menthol
which acts as an antiseptic, anti-irritant & cooling skin
soother.
The Savex Foot Care Salve is a MUST for any diabetic.
It lasts long too… it can provide hydration for up to
six hours… no more constant applying of lotions.
You won’t find a more effective product as Savex Foot
Care Salve. Grab a jar for $3.49 or get two for $5.98.
VISIT: SAVEX FOOT CARE SALVE (http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14469/c/120/a/499)
————————————————————
——– Missing man found camping after wife spat ———
CORNELIUS, Ore. - Police in Oregon said they spent
thousands of dollars searching for a man reported missing
who turned out to be on a camping trip. Cornelius Police
Cmdr. Ed Jensen said the U.S. Forrest Service and law
enforcement agencies in Oregon’s Linn, Lane and Marion
counties got involved in searching for William Peterson
after his wife, Pam, reported him missing June 7 after
he failed to return from an overnight fishing trip, The
(Portland) Oregonian reported Tuesday. However, when the
missing man was located Saturday, Jensen said police
received a new part of the story. He said Peterson was
found when he called his wife Saturday to ask if he was
welcome back home. Peterson told police he and his wife
had argued before he left and she gave him an ultimatum
that included an invitation to move out of the house —
a choice he accepted, but later regretted. “There was a
lot of money spent looking for someone who wasn’t truly
missing,” Jensen said. “I’m pretty sure there is no
recourse at this time (but) it definitely tied up a lot
of resources that, in this day and age of tight budgets,
could make a lot of difference.” Pam Peterson, who said
she had forgotten about the argument, apologized for the
situation and said her husband is safely back at home.
————————————————————
FULL SIZE (3′ x 5′) AMERICAN FLAG
Normal Price: $19.99
LIQUIDATION SPECIAL: $4.99
We are pleased to announce that we have found Full-Size
3′x5′ American flags available at liquidation prices…
never sold before at these low prices.
Made of durable polyester with two (2) metal grommets
perfect for displaying.
Its a great time to stock up AND pick up a couple for gifts,
but there is a LIMIT of 8 per order. NO DEALERS PLEASE…
VISIT: Liquidation Special - USA Flags (http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/499/l/353ds6)
————————————————————
Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored (http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14380/c/120/a/499)
————————————————————
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS
I am in the neighborhood of 50-years-old (ahem), I have a
401k that I have been contributing to for 13 or 14 years,
my wife has an IRA that she has been contributing to for
about the same amount of time. We also have a savings account
which provides us with a fund for if the engine in one of
our cars blows up for an uninsured reason or if we need a few
extra thousand for a vacation, etc.
We are currently in our second house since getting married
but thanks to an increase in property values we have about
35 percent equity in the house. We also started college
savings accounts for each of our boys when they were born,
which isn’t going to cover four years at university but
will give us a nice head start for each of them.
To listen to it you’d think we were in pretty good shape, but
apparently our toes are hanging over the edge of disaster.
Until recently David Walker was comptroller general of the
United States, meaning he was head auditor for the most
important and powerful government in the world. In an in-
terview last year Walker warned that there is a $43-trillion
hole in America’s public finances that’s getting worse every
day, and it is eventually going to lead to a financial
collapse that will make my (and your) retirement plans dis-
appear in a wave of recession, inflation and unemployment.
It’s becoming increasingly obvious that, within the next 10
years, the U.S. government will simply not be able to borrow
money fast enough to keep up with its exploding expenses.
The Economic Policy Institute recently projected that under
the current tax regime, by 2014 all government revenue would
be consumed by four areas of spending: health care for the
elderly and the poor, Social Security for retirees, national
defense and interest on the debt.
Interest on the national debt would be about half of all gov-
ernment tax revenues by 2031. And ten years later, the cost
of servicing the debt will exceed all government revenues.
History provides some harrowing examples of what happens when
an economy collapses under the weight of unsustainable debt.
One of the most chilling is Argentina in 2001. When the
International Monetary Fund cut off its support for the
country’s escalating debt, the effect was catastrophic: the
value of the national currency plunged, decimating the
savings of millions. The resulting surge in inflation and
sudden slowdown in consumer spending put thousands of
businesses into bankruptcy within weeks. That, in turn,
put further millions out of work and pushed one of South
America’s biggest economies into a punishing recession.
As unfathomable as it may seem, most economists think some-
thing like that could happen in the United States.
Doesn’t sound very cheery, does it? Imagine if the company
you work for suddenly went bankrupt and the market was so
bad that you couldn’t find a job for more than half of what
you were making (if you could find work at all). You decide
to cash in all of your savings and retirement funds to make
ends meet to discover that what used to be worth 30, 40 or
maybe 50 thousand dollars is now worth about 15 or 20. How
long do you think you would keep your house or even your
car?
It makes you want to start writing letters to congressmen,
doesn’t it?
Bizarrely,
Lewis
————————————————————
+——————– Bizarre Patrons ———————+
Apollonia - Patron Saint of toothaches.
Fiacre - Patron Saint of venereal disease and taxi drivers.
Gengulf - Patron Saint of unhappy marriages.
Vitus - Patron Saint of comedians and mental illness.
Matthew - Patron Saint of accountants.
Bernardino of Siena - Patron Saint of advertising
executives.
Luke - Patron Saint of butchers.
Marin de Porres - Patron Saint of hairdressers.
Joseph of Arimathea - Patron Saint of grave diggers and
funeral directors.
Bernard of Clairvaux - Patron Saint of beekeepers.
Sebastian - Patron Saint of neighborhood watch.
***
———— Polish woman wakes up in morgue ————–
WARSAW, Poland - An 84-year-old woman, declared dead
by a doctor in central Poland, woke up in a morgue as
morticians were preparing her for a funeral, doctors
said. Police in the central Polish town of Zwolen opened
an investigation, Polish Radio reported Monday. In the
nearby village of Jablonowo Friday, the husband called an
ambulance when his wife fainted and the emergency service
doctor declared her dead and sent her to the morgue. When
morticians saw the woman was moving, they called a doctor
who diagnosed she was sick but alive. The woman was rushed
to the Zwolen hospital where doctors said she was in a
serious condition and placed her in an intensive care
unit.
————————————————————
UNIVERSAL DIGITAL BATTERY TESTER
List Price: $29.99
DEAL PRICE: $12.99
The Universal Digital Battery Tester displays the charge
of your battery instantly on a large easy to read LCD
display. This versatile battery tester can be used to test
AA, AAA, C, D, N, 9V, CR123A, CR2, button cells (3V & 1.5V)
and digital camera batteries (2CR5, CR-P2 & CR-V3).
It safely tests alkaline, NiMH and NiCad rechargeable
batteries. Again… this works for just about ANY battery…
even the button cell types. Grab one of these very handy
Battery Testers… you’ll be glad you did.
VISIT: UNIVERSAL DIGITAL BATTERY TESTER (http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14430/c/120/a/499)
————————————————————
——— Human statue project includes ‘poo’ man ———-
LONDON - One of the “living statues” kicking off an art
exhibit in London’s Trafalgar Square is a man who made a
costume meant to resemble feces. Oliver Parsons-Baker, 26,
of Birmingham, England, said he designed a “poo costume”
for his hour on the fourth plinth of Trafalgar Square as
a means of highlighting the need for clean water, The Sun
reported. Parsons-Barker is one of 2,400 people chosen to
play “living statues” for one hour on the plinth as part
of “One and Other,” an art project designed by Antony
Gormley. The project, in which each living statue is
allotted one hour on the plinth, is scheduled to go on
for 24 hours a day for 100 days beginning July 6. Other
applicants chosen to occupy time on the plinth include a
man who plans to wear a bicycle-powered light-up suit, an
83-year-old who will spend the hour waving a flag and a
student using her hour to mark her birthday.
———– City to employees: Wear underwear ————-
BROOKSVILLE, Fla. - The City Council of Brooksville, Fla.,
has approved a citywide dress code requiring city employees
to wear underwear, deodorant and properly-fitted clothes.
The dress and appearance policy, which also requires all
tattoos and scars to be covered up during work hours, was
approved 4-1, with only Mayor Joe Bernardini voting against
the dress code due to concerns about interpretation and
enforcement of the new rules, the St. Petersburg (Fla.)
Times reported. “They said you had to wear undergarments,”
Bernardini said, “but who’s going to be the judge of that?
Sometimes when it comes to certain people going bra-less,
it’s obvious. But who’s staring to see if that person
doesn’t have underwear on?” However, officials said the
dress code is part of an overhaul of the city’s policy
toward its employees that was developed with help from
city officials, attorneys and other sources. The officials
said they want public employees to maintain the city’s
“public image.” “The policy is there if something becomes
an issue or problem,” City Manager Jennene Norman-Vacha
said. “Then we want to be able to address it. It’s just
good policy.”
————————————————————
You won’t find a more effective product…
SAVEX FOOT CARE SALVE
List Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $3.49
Get Two for $5.98
Feel the soothing sweetness of this salve working its magic
on your tired, dry or itchy feet.
Featuring skin-friendly oils like Mineral, Lanolin and more
(full list on site), this deep-penetrating foot salve will
re-hydrate severely dry skin, aid in the healing of cracks
and eliminate itching. This wonder salve even prevents foot
odor!
Unlike lotions which are high in water content which can
actually cause dryness, this salve has no water to promote
faster healing… for healthier feet. Also contains Menthol
which acts as an antiseptic, anti-irritant & cooling skin
soother.
The Savex Foot Care Salve is a MUST for any diabetic.
It lasts long too… it can provide hydration for up to
six hours… no more constant applying of lotions.
You won’t find a more effective product as Savex Foot
Care Salve. Grab a jar for $3.49 or get two for $5.98.
VISIT: SAVEX FOOT CARE SALVE (http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14469/c/120/a/499)
————————————————————
——– Missing man found camping after wife spat ———
CORNELIUS, Ore. - Police in Oregon said they spent
thousands of dollars searching for a man reported missing
who turned out to be on a camping trip. Cornelius Police
Cmdr. Ed Jensen said the U.S. Forrest Service and law
enforcement agencies in Oregon’s Linn, Lane and Marion
counties got involved in searching for William Peterson
after his wife, Pam, reported him missing June 7 after
he failed to return from an overnight fishing trip, The
(Portland) Oregonian reported Tuesday. However, when the
missing man was located Saturday, Jensen said police
received a new part of the story. He said Peterson was
found when he called his wife Saturday to ask if he was
welcome back home. Peterson told police he and his wife
had argued before he left and she gave him an ultimatum
that included an invitation to move out of the house —
a choice he accepted, but later regretted. “There was a
lot of money spent looking for someone who wasn’t truly
missing,” Jensen said. “I’m pretty sure there is no
recourse at this time (but) it definitely tied up a lot
of resources that, in this day and age of tight budgets,
could make a lot of difference.” Pam Peterson, who said
she had forgotten about the argument, apologized for the
situation and said her husband is safely back at home.
————————————————————
FULL SIZE (3′ x 5′) AMERICAN FLAG
Normal Price: $19.99
LIQUIDATION SPECIAL: $4.99
We are pleased to announce that we have found Full-Size
3′x5′ American flags available at liquidation prices…
never sold before at these low prices.
Made of durable polyester with two (2) metal grommets
perfect for displaying.
Its a great time to stock up AND pick up a couple for gifts,
but there is a LIMIT of 8 per order. NO DEALERS PLEASE…
VISIT: Liquidation Special - USA Flags (http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/499/l/353ds6)
————————————————————
Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored (http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14380/c/120/a/499)
————————————————————
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS